Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
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09-28-2024 09:51 AM #4141
We may have seen this one before, but it still makes me smile....
This Biker, walked into a biker bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at the Biker and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
The Biker says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." The Biker placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to the Biker saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."
The Biker replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."
The biker took the money.Roger
Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.
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10-02-2024 08:52 PM #4142
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
A Few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. Then, nothing. But, after another minute or two, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming.
"What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet minding my own business," slurs the drunk, "and every time I flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my privates!"
The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, "You're sitting on the mop bucket!"johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
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10-02-2024 09:26 PM #4143
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
A Few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. Then, nothing. But, after another minute or two, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming.
"What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet minding my own business," slurs the drunk, "and every time I flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my privates!"
The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, "You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
.johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
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10-03-2024 04:01 PM #4144
NOPE!! I don't care how late it is, how many hours we've been driving, or how far it is to the next place, NOT STOPPING HERE!! WE'LL KEEP DRIVING!!!
-Roger
Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.
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10-06-2024 08:07 PM #4145
Mary said to Paddy "Oh sweetheart, what did you ever do to deserve a woman like me?"
Paddy replies "God knows, but I won't be doing it again!"
.johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
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10-06-2024 08:12 PM #4146
I once sold security alarms door to door.
If nobody was home I'd leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
.johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
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Yesterday 07:46 PM #4147
Went to a restaurant with She Who Must Be Obeyed.
We sat down and pulled sandwiches from our bags.
The waitress approached us and said, "Excuse me, you can't eat your own food here"
So we swapped sandwiches.
.johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
Went to a restaurant with She Who Must Be Obeyed. We sat down and pulled sandwiches from our bags. The waitress approached us and said, "Excuse me, you can't eat your own food here" So we...
the Official CHR joke page duel