Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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My doctor told me that I'm suffering from insomnia.
I asked, "Is it serious?"

He said "There's no cause for any alarm."
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When I got married my friends asked if my spouse would be taking my name.
I had to tell them it would be really silly if we were both named Fred.
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Originally Posted by johnboy

The poor fella must've got a helluva fright!
I'd wager he went as white as a sheet!
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In hindsight I expect the pic is AI generated. It's just too perfect, no footprints, nothing in the paint, etc, etc. Kinda funny, but not real....

Bob was thrilled when his company gave him a free ticket to the Super Bowl! �� But his excitement faded when he arrived—his seat was way up in the nosebleeds, closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field! ��
Halfway through the first quarter, he noticed an empty seat 10 rows from the field, right on the 50-yard line! �� Taking a chance, he snuck down and asked the man sitting next to it, “Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?”
The man shook his head, “No.”
Bob, now grinning from ear to ear, said, “This is unbelievable! Who in their right mind would have a seat this good at the Super Bowl and not use it?!”
The man sighed, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.”
Bob felt terrible. “I’m so sorry… But couldn’t you find anyone—a friend or relative—to come with you?”

The man shrugged, “Nope… They’re all at the funeral.”
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Guys I need help here!
I had an argument with the wife and She told me I was correct!

What do I do now?
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I picked up a hitch-hiker the other day. He seemed a nice guy. After a few miles he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer.

I told him that the odds of two serial killers in the same car was extremely unlikely.
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School teacher says to a 5 year old boy; "What's your mother's name?"
"Mum's last name must be 'Darling' because that's what Daddy calls her every time."
"That's so sweet. What's her first name then?"

"I think it's Sorry"
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A good woman stays by her man's side during bad times to tell him that none of it would have happened if he had just listened to her.
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CHINESE PROVERBS

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Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tyred.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.


Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
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Back in my early days the only the only time we started Panic Buying was when the bartender yelled "Last call!"
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