Big Mole Caper;

So, I didn't actually see this take place but I did get to see the aftermath. Knowing my friend, Les, I can believe
the story.
Around here we have moles that will take a normal lawn and make it look like a part of a bombed out
Ho Che Min trail. Just one of these little things can crank out between 10 and 20 mole hills a day and not break
a sweat.
Les's lawn seems to be an attraction. He's one of these guys who mows in January, just to keep that manicured
look all year.

ENTER THE MOLE:

He came from the woods and followed the fence line right up to the house. Then along the foundation until he got to the flowers along the front of the house. Then to the middle of the lawn, out to the mailbox and then along the front fence line and then to the front of the house again.
This is all just two days work. Fifty mole hills plus.....

To hear Les describe it, there were a hundred moles that invaded his sacred lawn.
After talking on the phone for awhile I finally convinced him that it was most likely one or perhaps two at the most.

Les asks me how I get rid of mine. Easy. Traps. The only way.
This isn't what Les wants to hear.
"Ya know, It's against the law in Washington State to trap moles", says Les.

It's a stupid law, I insist but it's the way I do it.
About three days later, I get a call from Marv, a friend who knows us both and asks me if I knew that Les was in
the Hospital.
I didn't, "what happened" I asked.
Marv tells me that Les got burned pretty bad and continues to tell me that Les has a mole problem and decided to
fill the holes with gasoline.
Marv says, "I told that old sumbitch that it was pretty stupid and that he should at least try to dilute it with water and hope it rains".
Marv continues that Les took a garden hose and filled up the holes all night with water.
Next day he concludes that the gas is well diluted but it still smelled pretty bad out next to the fence so he decided to burn off the rest.
Well, He succeeded in lighting off one of the biggest holes but then all of the tunnels erupted and blew back thru the biggest hole burning off most of Les's beard, eyebrows and the front part of his hair line along with a bunch of chest hair and the hair on his fore arms.
Not serious burns but lots of them.

"Bullshit", I exclaim to Marv.
"Strait Skippy", says Marv.

I hop in the car and drive over and talk to his Wife, Jenette but she was at the Hospital so his son let me look at the damage.
Geeze....the whole lawn looked like it had varicose veins. Everywhere there was a hole, it was connected by a ruptured black line where the tunnel was. Kinda like connecting the dots game.

So, the morel of the story is.......USE TRAPS.
I don't care what the law is. It's the only way to get rid of the fuggers. You can't use car exhaust, water, shotguns and certainly not gasoline. (that is, unless you have a death wish)

DT