Really: this is what he texted me.

What's it mean?

I , too, was lookin' words up. I engaged procaine. You can't count the lenses on Monday - the purple pencil rolled up the cat's leg for pancakes in the 2nd spacecraft, parked out back , beside the flaming hemoroids. That wayward dragon dropped "acid", close to a maritime merchant ship & confused the tennis racket. It was worth upwards of 12 cents @ night - tho, not this night.

I told him to try some Preparation H.