I hope the bruises fade before you leave on your trip.......
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Crikey!
You'd be one of the bravest men on the planet Sir; and I salute you!
(A few years back I remember a case where some woman with a grudge against her old man snipped his dangly bits off. I'm of the opinion that it's an extreme danger/folly to even mention the word 'snip' to the 'gentler' (?) sex.)
Lorena Bobbit-1993