I Need Your Prayer's

My daughter was battered by her boyfriend . Not the blackeye or bloody nose like most . He beat her hard enough that he cracked her eye sockets and her frontal lobe above her nose (skull) and pushed her nose in her face over a 1/4 inch . The damage was so exstint it took 4 hours of reconstuctive sugery to correct it .

This is not even the bad part . She is protecting him saying it was a accident and they were just playing around . How can love at the age of 21 be so blind .

She has dated this kid since she was 15 he is bi polar and i seen his anger . I did everything i could do as a parent to stop the relationship and try to get her to break up with out coming right out and saying it . I am a very strict father and held her to the house rules even to the curfews i set .

The law says they are tied unless she files charges also . He did admit it to Detective he did it and used same story , I sure hope they have a loop hole and nail this kid . I mean i look at this as bad as being shot . He is dangerous and needs prison time . A little more harder punch the Surgeon said she would have been dead .

His mother placed him in a pshyc ward he said he would committ suicide . Copout is all that is . If your going to committ suicide you dont tell anyone you just do it .


When we brought her home from Hospital my wife and I are useing tough love and telling her the only way she can live with us is press charges . She is still fighting us on this saying she dont want to press charges . His family is trying to get her to let him move away but you cant live far enough away to correct the wrong he did . Prison may make him worse but not my problem is it ? I am serious on this decision also , i will have her cuffed and removed from my house to prove this also .

She starts her college on monday for Vet Tech and she has worked on getting in program for 2 yrs allready in school . This is the only thing i have to fight with telling her she will lose this and have nothing from us .


So please pray that after she looks in the mirror enough she see's that this isn't right and follows through .

Bob,

My heartfelt prayers go out to you and your family. If your daughter was under the age of 21, you as a parent can press charges against her boyfriend. Regardless of whether or not he is bi polar (if he is not being treated and he has been diagnosed then it's reckless endangerment) he is responsible for his actions until proven otherwise in a court of law. If he is below 21 years old, then his parents can be held responsible and he could be commited with court approval against his will. My advice is to at the very least file a police report and let them sort it out.


Wish you the best of luck.


Bill S.

Oh yes the police are allready involved i called them immediatly . I had no hesitation . He is over 21 also . zMy 2 sons went rampage and made the visit but police were called and thank god they havent been arrested yet . Glad they didn't get in and hurt him .

You got 'em Bobby. I pray you can get through to her and she heeds the wake up call.

That's rough, my thoughts and prayers too.

Send prayers up for your family. IMHO....I would speak with the DA about get charges filed. If not a restraining order.

Keep working on her Bobby... Nobody should be allowed to be free when they do aomething like that to a girl..... Prayers are with you all.

Prayers go out to you and your family! Please don't take this the wrong way but being a 2nd Degree BlackBelt in Kyokushin Karate and the owner of 3 tactical shotguns, it scares me about how I personally would have reacted.

Keep trying to convince her to press charges so that kid can get some help

Pat

you have my prayers and sympathy. As a child that watched my mother get beat just as badly I can testify that you never get over it. I watched my father once stomp my mom to the point that he caused to miscarry. I was beaten severly but never where some one walking past me would notice. It does not get any better until you get away from someone like that. I asked my mom years later why she put up with it. She said that at the time she acutally thought that she deserved it. That he was always sorry later and would make it better. She later discovered that she was clinicly depressed and needed treatment. I would get your daughter if you can to talk to someone. I know that you love her dearly but she has to feel that she is deserving of true love to stand up for herself and tell the cops the truth. I am now in a fantastic relationship with my husband of 15 years. He never has once raised his hand to me no matter how much I have angered him. But he also knows that if he ever hit me he better run. Your daughter deserves so much better. My email is jyardgirl@hotmail.com if she ever wants to talk to someone.

I am very sorry to hear this Bobby, Ive been right in your shoes and was waiting for the cops to come and get me before. Luckily he took my after beating threat to heart. But it solved nothing either, she kept going back to him for more broken promises and now more controlled beatings, without leaving marks and bruises. Now this jackazz is sitting in prison for another 2 years for attempted murder, but guess who still visits this pile of crap, ya she does. I am sorry to say It will never end until you convince her to get away from him, and thats harder then you think. Again I feel your pain, sorry !

God bless everyone and thank you .

jyard she refused counsling in the hospital and right now i'm a wreck . I won't give up .

Pat i know what comes to mind but im trying to be strong as to keep the rest of family together me in prison will not do that .

I certainly admire your restraint, Bobby...... Though you are of course 100% correct, I'm afraid they would of already locked me up for doing the payback........

Bobby, I'm so sorry to hear this, I will have my wife to put your daughter on the prayer list at the Ministry center where she works. I will call her as soon as I finish my best wishes for her to be ok.

My daughter married a jerk, and he knows what will happen if he hurts her.

These guys should be taken out back with a person twice their size and have them beaten to within an inch of their life. I'll talk to you later giving thoughts and prayer but for now. I'm having her put on the Sister's prayer list that goes all over the World. God bless her and keep you and your wife strong for her.

Richard

Sorry to hear this happened! I do not believe i could keep as calm about it, but your right in your thoughts. Let me know if a little trip to the everglades is in order for him!

bi-polar is no excuse.my wife is bi-poloar.will have to be medicated for the rest of her life.she never acts like that.infact most of her outbursts are from fear,not anger.i do know what you would like to do,but dont do it.try to keep your sons away from him ,IF YOU CAN,brothers and dads have a rite to protect their loved ones.be patient,your chance will come,just use your heads.i dont pray much,but when i do i mean it.mine are with you all the way.oh yea,where does this dude live?geezer69

Thank god she came out alive, our prayers are certainly with her and your family. May god give her the strength and wisdom to free herself from him. Barb is right, she needs to talk to a psychologist soon. I've got family that went thru clinical depression (it's a real bad deal) and if she lets it well up inside she'll be there before you know it. She'll always have an insecure and belittled feeling around him. There's no shame in talking to a trained ear. God Bless!

So sorry to hear this. Our prayers go out to you and your family. We raise our grandson for similar reasons, Hang in there.
Ken

sorry to hear what your daughter and your family is going thru. having seen someone you love gets beat up by someone that tells them they love them is very hard to take. with out killing the one that gave them beating .i have been there .she needs to know he just wants to ruin her life to make him feel better about his. he needs to be incarcerated and gets help for his mental problem before he gets out

the meds are helping me but i dont take them like i should and again i thank everyone here it gives me more strength to hear from someone with the passion in life that you and i have .

I'm trying to figure out the best approach so not to have alot of turmoil but i dont know if that can be done . She did talk to me this morn saying we can get thru this and that she will be better and get thru school . But i want this kid in jail this is agravaitted battery and he needs a few years .

Thank you all i read every word and it helps everyone has so much support and not get the guy thing . I will push the law as hard as i can i wont stop .

This is nauseating to read, Bobby. I watched my sister go through the same thing for years until her ex put her in the hospital. Then she finally left, but it was a horrible time for all of us. We'll put her on our prayerlist at church, and the rest of your family, too.

So sorry to hear this. I can't imagine the range of emotions you must be going through right now. My instincts would be to scare the shit out of both him and his parents threatening to bury them if they all don't move out of state, or if he doesn't turn himself in for this.
I also know how it works. Any retribution will get your family arrested for this @#@#$ behavior. It is a real catch 22. In the olden days, he would be dragged off in the desert and beaten to an inch of his life!
I'm so sorry for you and your family! How is your daughter doing now? With school about to start, it will be very difficult for her to concentrate on what she's worked so hard towards.
I think the tough love approach is the only thing you can do! Your in my wife and my prayers!

Bobby - I am so sorry to see this - this forum is like a big family and we will stand with you to help you and her as part of your immediate family through this. Tough love sometimes works and other times - well sometimes you have to temper that as well. Get the SOB that did it - and make sure it doesn't happen again.

you and your family are also in my prayers...i hope you can get him locked up..you know exactly what they will do to him in prison when they find out why he is there...even prisoners have mothers, sisters and daughters...it won't be pretty...you're doing the right thing by not taking your on revenge...even though i know it's hard...

peace brother and god bless

Bobby,I know the hurt.Our daughter had a relationship with an Alcoholic,and to this day I cannot understand how a Guy can influence a girl so mucn as to try and ruin their lives also.After following this bum around all over the country and losing some really good jobs,she finally wised up.She is now finishing school and I am one proud father.

Keep your faith in her and we will remember you guys in our prayers.Things have a way of working out when you have faith and prayer.

Bobby so sorry to hear all this. My prayers go out to your Daughter, you and the family and hope she's ok. This is really sad to hear. I pray she comes to terms and see's she needs to get away from him. And I hope he gets some time for his actions. No one should EVER have to endure that kind of pain from another. I pray she comes out of this ok.

Bobby I'm just so sorry to hear this, it both saddens and sickens me that someone could be so absolutely vile.
Barb (junkyardgirl) made a great and practical suggestion a couple of posts back......see if you can talk your daughter into contacting her, to talk to someone who has "been there - done that" could be a great help to her.

Bobby...you're in my prayers brother! I know what you mean about keeping the family together. They aren't any good with you in jail. My wife always reminds me of that when I over react. Keep strong and get 'er done and over with ASAP for your little girls sake! By the way, I have 2 married daughters, fortunately I also have 2 great son in laws. We are blessed.

Pat

Bobby,
Sorry to hear this. I met my wife in '92, she had been in a spousal abuse shelter. They helped her to relocate from FL to MN. She said to take her to a battered women shelter to stay/talk with them, but not kick her out, you are her only safe haven.
I see a moutain hunting trip! waaaaaay back in the woods, where no one cares............ Need some directions?

Pat

Bobby I can't add anything that hasn't already been said. I can only hope & pray that your daughter will listen to you & others about what has happen to her & what should be done to that asshole.
I do know what I would do if that slimeball showed up at my house, the only problem is I would have to clean up a mess in my house when I got done.
Take care of yourself & that child of yours....joe

Sorry to learn of this problem, it is a heartbreaker for sure. It seems to be perfectly natural for inlaws to disagree, I know that feeling, but physical violence is out of bounds. I hope you continue to have the strength of character to help your daughter out of this problem.

Don Shillady
Retired Scientist/teen rodder

bobby you are a pillar of restraint man , i personally would have givin this jerk much worse , as a father of 4 daughters i cant even imagine what you are going thru as i have always let my girls husbands and boyfriends know under no uncertain terms would they ever get a pass from abusing one of my kids , your doing the right thing let the law take care of things , keep yourself out of jail , try and get the daughter some help , karma is a bitch and this dude will eventually get whats comin to him .. prayers sent for a speedy recovery..

Thank you all again so much your prayers are so greatly appreciated and mine are coming back to you and your familys for the safe and peacefull life we so much live for .

I am so glad that a marriage never was a question with her since i had her in school all the time .

A Detective did say that he gave a statement that he did hit her but it had the story of being a accident so i hope it is enough so we dont have to much turmoil . The Judge should see through that with all the pics of damage to her and the surgen said he would even testify that his fist is a deadly weapon . He also said that by the damage he thought she may have been laying down and been hit with a object . I really hope he meets BUBA very soon.

Thank you all again so much

Distress will control my emotions if he is ever in arms reach .


I need to be in garage for therapy but i just can't bring myself up to it .

From what i know about the court system the DA should press charges even if the family or the victim wont. They deal with this stuff all the time and realize false love and fear will keep the victim from persuing legal avenues. If the sergeon is giving statements they will take his word over your daughters.

Ill still be praying for your family, and by the grace of god this scum will be punished!

yea,theres no way this can go by un punished these days.and yes kenny im with you.this punk will get his,he'll probably be afraid to go outside anyway.i have 4 daughters from 13 to 37.man this is is a tough one bobby,good luck and hang in there.go pull a wrench or two.it allways helps.

Hope she heals, but she still needs to see someone.Keep your temper in line, I know that is so hard, you want kick the *&%$ out of him.
BradC

I have thought about your daughter all day, I just feel so bad for what she has gone through, and how bad it is for you, and your family to see their child have some coward inflict so much damage to an innocent girl. I pray she will get through this the very best she can with a full recovery.

Prayers are being sent around the World for your daughter they started this morning.

My little girl is 36 years old, and I would spend the rest of my life in prison if anyone did that to her. Before my daughter got married to a bum, I watched the OJ trial while recouping from another back surgery, and I promised if that happened to my child I would take care of it.

Please keep doing what your doing the legal way, do not follow what I would do. I don't think it would happen to my girl, or at least he knows what would come next.

Richard

In the State of Texas, The state Files the charge of dometsic assault. Not the victim...with the injuries to your daughter there would be no problem for the DA to prove the case in Any court. Hopefully the detectives will stay on top of this and see it thru to the end.

I think a talk with the DA will come this week soon as i locate who the proper one will have to be . I guess it won't hurt then a letter to the state rep . This is no black eye and this guy needs to go down . They should have the power to step in and take it over . This is the type of guy who would stalk her also i believe .

This is the type of guy who would stalk her also i believe


Buddy, send me two round trip tickets and you wont have to worry about that, it will be hard to stalk her when he wont be able to walk ever agian!

Real sorry to hear you and your family are going though something like this. You and yours are in my prayers, and I believe in prayer, it works. Stay strong and keep the faith.