Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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Originally Posted by MelloYello

that's what she said

365 times a year !!!!!!!

Breast Stroke

brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race. The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool. The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 minutes later the blonde reaches the end and gets out. The judge says, "The gold medal goes to the brunette, the silver medal goes to the redhead, and the bronze goes to the blonde". The blonde says, "I don't want to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their arms."

A southern gentleman went to Las Vegas . Sitting in a cocktail lounge, he beckoned the waitress and said quietly, "Miss, y'all sure are a luvly, luvly lady. Can ah persuade y'all to give me a piece of ass?"

"Wow, that's the most direct proposition I've ever had!", gasped the girl. Then she looked around the room, smiled and said, "Sure, why not? You're an attractive guy too, and it's pretty slow here right now so why don't we just slip away up to your room?"

When they returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table and the waitress smiled at him and asked, "Will there be anything else?"

"Why yes, replied the southern gentleman. "Ah sure 'preciate what y'all just did for me. It was real sweet and right neighbourly of y'all. But where ah come from in Albama, we lack our bourbon real cold, so ah still need a piece of ass for mah drink."

ha !!! im` frum bama and i dont xcactly pronounce it like that but for the same results i could learn ....

UPDATE ON SURGERY

Dear Family and Friends:

Most of you know our friend, Dorothy, who recently went in for a surgical
procedure.

It was for a B-u-t-t L-i-f-t at the WalMart Medical Center .

She didn't have the most pleasant experience.

She should've left well enough alone

I wanted to show you how it turned out.

I hope this keeps YOU from having this done.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE . . Don't get a B-u-t-t L-i-f-t at the WalMart Medical
Center .



You will most certainly regret it!!!

A Man invited a buddy back home for dinner. When they get home, his wife, upset at not being notified begins yelling at him...

"I haven't done my hair, not to mention my make up, I haven't done any cleanup, let alone the dishes!

Besides, I'm not interested in doing any cooking! Why in the hell did you invite him over tonight?

The Man replies...
"Because he's thinking about getting married !"

The Last Kiss

Back on August 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
"I'm going to commit suicide!!" She says tearfully,
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?" So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one. After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from a Hot Rod's engine when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...

"Try doing it with the engine running."

Emma Emma - tsk tsk tsk !

The Paperless Future - "Emma"

Originally Posted by MelloYello

Emma Emma - tsk tsk tsk !

The Paperless Future - "Emma"

Ha ha,,Love it... Good girl,Emma...

Or....If no paper,do not linger,,,Robinson Crusoe used his finger....

I KNOW MANY OF YOU (LIKE ME) ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO FOOTBALL SEASON. WELL, HERE'S A LITTLE RECAP OF LAST YEAR.........

Coincidence?? Just wondering!

Alabama beat Arkansas, and Arkansas fired their coach.

Alabama beat Tennessee, and Tennessee fired their coach.

Alabama beat Auburn, and Auburn fired their coach.

Then Alabama beat Notre Dame, and the Pope resigns ...

Damn, I wish Congress had a team.

I got this teeshirt a looooong time ago, anyone else?

It's Not About the Nail on Vimeo

I don't get it?!?!!?

that's a good thing, Mike, enjoy !