Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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Meep Meep… rotflmao!

I can relate....

One more.... Umm I might have actually fallen for this in my earlier life!

A Many 16th's & A Many mm, all in one!!
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Wrench.jpg

Originally Posted by glennsexton

One more.... Umm I might have actually fallen for this in my earlier life!

Along with that is the "FREE BEER Tomorrow!" sign....

Jack and Jill are getting married. Jacks old man takes him to one side and says "Listen Jack you need to stamp your authority on this relationship.
When I married your mother, on our wedding night I asked her to try on my trousers in the honeymoon suite." This she did and then said "Honey I can't fill these they are far too big for me." "That's right baby" he says "and just remember who wears the trousers in this relationship" Jack thought that this was a very good idea and he would do the same with Jill.

So when they eventually got to the honeymoon suite on their wedding night he turned to Jill and said, " Sweetie try these trousers of mine on". This she did. She then turned to him and said " Darling I can't fit into these they're far too big for me.

"That's right " said Jack "Now just remember who wears the bloody trousers in this relationship."

So Jill thought for a while then turned to him, took off her knickers and said "try these on darling. This he did but only got them up to his knees before telling her, "I can't get into these!".
At which point she stood up and said "Aye and if you don't change your bloody attitude you never will!!"

At the airline check-in desk there was a long waiting line. The cute Flight Attendant checking people in was going about her business when suddenly an agitated passenger came from the back of the line, cut to the front, and then demanded that he be boarded immediately.

Calmly the Flight Attendant reminded him it was first-come, first served and told him to return to his place in line.
Even more agitated the man said to her, "Do you know who I am!!"
The Flight attendant picked up her intercom mic and said, "Your attention please: Does anyone know who this man is? He doesn't."

Now really agitated the man looked at her and shouted "Well, f*(k you!"
To which the Flight Attendant replied "You'll have to get in line for that too, sir."

Colder weather is coming.....

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. The plane landed and they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals.

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their “tourist” garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a drop dead gorgeous blonde in a bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn’t help but stare. As the blonde passed them she smiled and said,

“Morning, Father. Morning, Father”, addressing each of them individually. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?

The next day, they wore their tourist gear and donned dark glasses. Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. The same beautiful blonde, wearing a different bikini, came walking toward them. Again she nodded to each of them and said,

“Morning, Father ~morning, Father”, and started to walk away. One of the priests couldn’t stand it any longer and said,

“Just a minute, young lady.”

“Yes, Father?”

You are right - we are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?” She replied,

“But Father, it’s me, Sister Kathleen!”

Unfortunately it's NOT a joke - Real sign for valet parking....
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Valet.jpg

Originally Posted by rspears

Unfortunately it's NOT a joke - Real sign for valet parking....
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Attachment 74175

Poor "woke" little babies.

Originally Posted by NTFDAY

Poor "woke" little babies.

"Woke" has nothing to do with it. Not understanding a stick shift goes back a lot farther, IMO.

That's sad.
People like us are becoming an extinct species.
I prefer a manual; it gives you more control over winding hill gradients, both up and down. I, as driver, can see that I'm approaching a steep uphill grade so will leave it in a lower gear to keep my revs up.
Or I can see a steep downhill grade in front of me and will keep it in a lower gear for engine braking.
I have control of the vehicle.

But to see that on Valet Parking...

Yep.

It's sad.

Originally Posted by rspears

"Woke" has nothing to do with it. Not understanding a stick shift goes back a lot farther, IMO.

Went right over your head did it? Most of the "woke" little pukes of today couldn't drive a standard if their miserable little life depended on it.

I used to have one of these.... but I seem to have loaned it to some body and it never came back....