Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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She just texted, "I can still smell your colon on my pillow...", which is why spelling matters.

Guy goes to a sex shop to buy an inflatable doll.

Gets asked if he wants a regular one or a Muslim one.

He asks what the difference is.

The Muslim one blows itself up.
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My wife said "You haven't been listening to a word I've been saying!"
I thought "That's a strange way to start a conversation."
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Two multimillionaire friends met for lunch and started chatting.
"So how's your home life?" asks the first multimillionaire.
"Couldn't be better," replies the second multimillionaire. "I bought an elephant!"
"An elephant? Are you crazy?"
"It's the best purchase I ever made! He grazes the lawn and makes it nice and even. The kids love to ride him and slide down his trunk, so now they are playing outside and being kids instead of just watching TV all day. My wife loves him too. He's very strong and helps her move things when I'm not around. Honestly, I can't think of a better pet."
The first multimillionaire thinks for a moment. "That's actually kind of amazing. How much did you pay for him?"
"Five hundred thousand dollars. What a bargain, huh?"
"Can I buy him for one million dollars?"
"What?! I can't sell him. He's part of my family now!"
"Okay. Two million?"
"You can't put a price on something so useful!"
"Three million?"
"Fine. I'll sell him for three million dollars, but only because you're my friend."
A few months later, the multimillionaires meet again. The first multimillionaire is raging.
"The elephant may have been useful to you, but he's a burden to me. He may have grazed your lawn, but he ate all my trees and left dung all over my lawn. The kids are terrified of that huge, noisy, aggressive thing. My wife and I haven't had a good night's sleep in months because the elephant keeps us awake. It's the worst purchase I ever made!"
"I don't know what to say," says the second multimillionaire. "But with that attitude, you'll never be able to sell him!"
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LOL This was on a KC Rat Rod/Hot Rod FB Post....
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TurkeyPan.jpg

Police have confirmed that the man who tragically fell from the window of the 12th floor nightclub was not a bouncer.
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Have you ever noticed that there are no long lines for the toilet at the swimming pool?
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Santa doesn't need to pay for parking his sleigh on the roof.

It's on the house.
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Why is Santa scared of chimneys!
He's claus trophobic.
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I joined all my wrist watches together today and made a belt.

I call it a waist of time.
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That's a good one Johnboy! LOL

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
A rebel without a claus.
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Why do you never see Santa in hospital?
Because he has private elf care.
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How did the reindeer know Santa's going to get wet tonight?
Because Rudolph the red knows rain deer.
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You're becoming quite the Punster, jb! Punny, very Punny!

Hope you have a warm, sunny Christmas down under!