In a trial, a small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness
to the stand, a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and
asked,

"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded. "Why, yes I do
know you, Mr. Williams, I've known you since you were a young boy, and
frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on
your
wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind
their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains
to
realize you will not amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher.
Yes, I know you."


The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the
room and asked, "Mrs. Jones do you know the defense attorney?" She
again
replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster,
too. He's lazy, bigoted and has a drinking problem. He can't build a
normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst
in
the entire state. Not to mention he has cheated on his wife with three
different women, one of them was your wife. Yes I know him." The
defense
attorney almost died.


The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet
voice said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll
throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."