Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

Tweet

Originally Posted by cffisher

Dear Abby: My husband is a liar and a cheat. He cheated on anymore. You're a United States Senator from New York, act like it.

Good grief - even Michiganders know what we New York Staters are stuck with - frightening, but

Subject: Fw: 3 Dead Bodies
>
> Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on
> their faces.The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
>
> Coroner tells the Inspector: "First body: A Frenchman, 72, died of heart
> failure while with his mistr ess. Hence the enormous smile."
>
> "Second body: "Irishman, 25, won a thousand dollars on the lottery, spent
> it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
>
> The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
>
> "Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Danny Earl, the
> Redneck from Tennessee, 30, struck by lightning."
>
> "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
>
> "Thought he was having his picture taken."

An Alabama couple, both bonified rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make that decision; why after nine children, would they chose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent artical that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican, and they didn't want a mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish....

Originally Posted by cffisher

An Alabama couple, both bonified rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make that decision; why after nine children, would they chose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent artical that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican, and they didn't want a mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish....

I work with a Mexican guy. I told him this joke, he didn't get it even after I explained it twice. I think the term redneck was lost on him.

He said to me, "why would we have 10 kids??" I guess statistical info is something Mexicans don't do.

Don

Originally Posted by Itoldyouso

I work with a Mexican guy. I told him this joke, he didn't get it even after I explained it twice. I think the term redneck was lost on him.

He said to me, "why would we have 10 kids??" I guess statistical info is something Mexicans don't do.

Don

C'mon Don!

You can't blame the poor Mexican guy.
He's baffled by the fact that they found somebody in Alabama who could read!

The husband replied that they had read in a recent artical that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.

The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute and said, "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "Firstly, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way representative mumbled, "Um... No."

"Or," the lawyer continued, "that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way representative began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted when the lawyer added, "Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?"

The humiliated United Way representative, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?