Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war
>party.
>
>
> The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor
>of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I
>kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?"
>
>The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
>
>The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers
>in Silver's ear and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver
>returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
>
>As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and
>spends the night.
>
>The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very
>fine and loyal horse but I will still kill you in two days. What is your
>second request?"
>
>The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to
>him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off
>across the plains and disappears over the horizon.
>
>Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this
>time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the
>Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
>
>The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed
>a man of many talents but I still kill you tomorrow. "What is your last
>request?"
>
>The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse....alone."
>
>The Chief is curious but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone
>Ranger's tent. Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both
>ears, looks him square in the eye and says, "Listen very carefully you dumb
>ass horse. For the last time . BRING POSSEEEE!!!!"





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A few minutes before the church services started, the townspeople were
> sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front
> of the
> church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance,
> trampling
> each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon
> everyone
> had exited the church except for one, an elderly gentleman who sat calmly
> in
> his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate
> enemy
> was in his presence.
>
> So Satan walked up to the old man and said "Don't you know who I am?"
>
> "Yep, sure do."
>
> "Aren't you afraid of me?"
> "Nope, sure ain't."
> "Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?"
> "Don't doubt it for a minute."
> "Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical
> AGONY for all eternity??"
> "Yep," was the calm reply.
> "And you're still not afraid??" asked Satan.
> "Nope."
> More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of
> me?
> The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
>
>

Devil says to Lawyer, I will make you the richest most successful Lawyer in the world if you just sign over the souls of your wife and first born child.
Lawyer replies, what's the catch?

Rattlesnake is crossing the road and when he gets to the other side he notices his rattlers are missing. He turns around and goes back out into the road to retrieve his rattlers when a truck comes along and runs over his head.
Moral of the story. Don't lose your head over a piece of tail.

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class ,who can tell me who discovered America?
Class: Maria.

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Jhon: You told me to do it without using tables.


Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
Teacher: No, thats wrong
Glenn: Maybe its wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.


Teacher: Donald,what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: HIJKLMNO
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it's H to O

Teacher: Glenn, why are you always so dirty?
Glenn: Well, I'm closer to the ground than you are.


Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing that we have today that we
didn'yt have 10 years ago.
Winnie: Me!

A true Story - New Neighbors House

Read the story below before you look at the pictures.


This is a true story, it happened in Utah and was on the news!
I thought each of you could use a little comic relief today. Here's the
story. A city councilman, Mark Easton, lives in this neighborhood. He
had a beautiful view of the east mountains, until a new neighbor
purchased the lot below his house and built. Apparently, the new home
was 18 inches higher than the ordinances would allow, so Mark Easton,
mad about his lost view, went to the city to make sure they enforced the
lower roof line ordinance.
Mark and his new neighbor had some great arguments about this as you can
imagine - not great feelings. The new neighbor had to drop the roof line
-
no doubt at great expense.
Recently, Mark Easton called the city and informed them that his new
neighbor had installed some vents on the side of his home. Mark didn't
like the look of these vents and asked the city to investigate. When
they went to Mark's home to see the vent view, this is what they
found...

thats awsome

Don