Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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Two women who had been friends for years, decided to go for a Girls Night Out, and were decidedly over enthusiastic on the martinis.
Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to use the bathroom. They were very near a cemetery and one of them suggested they whiz behind a headstone. The first woman had nothing to dry herself with so she though she'd take off her panties, use them and then theow them away.
Her friend, however, was wearing rather expensive underware and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves. She dried herself with the ribbon.
After finishing, they then made there way home. The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said," this girls night out thing has got to stop right now. My wife came home last night without her panties".
"That's nothing." said the other husband, "Mine came home with a card stuck in her ass that said, " FROM ALL OF US AT THE FIRE STATION, WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU"

I was walking down a busy sidewalk, fully aware I was late for work, when my eye fell upon one of those homeless vagabonds found in every modern inner city.
Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying every worldly possession in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this tramp's demeanor.
Some people turned to stare.
Others looked away as if the sight would contaminate them.
Recalling some long-ago Sunday School lesson to "care for the sick, feed the hungry, and clothe the naked", I was moved by an inner urge to reach out to this less fortunate one.
Where some people saw only rags, I saw the hidden beauty.
A small voice inside me echoed, said "Reach out, reach out!"

So I did

I get out of jail in 6 weeks