Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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A very loud, and unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way throuhg the entrance. She's dressed in dirty jeans, a greasy T-shirt with holes in it and wearing flip-flops exposing her cracked and filthy toenails. When she yells at the kids, she exposes her yellowed, crooked teeth with more than a few missing.
The Wal-Mart greeter says," Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart; nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"
The ugly women stops screaming long enough to say,"Hell no they ain't! The oldest one, hes 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the Hell would you think they're twins? Do they really think they look alike?"
"No." replies the greeter," I just couldn't believe someone had sex with you twice!!"

A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day.
So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She
carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Takes
out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the
rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike
cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies
to approaching drivers...

Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up.
It wasn't very long before a police car arrives.

The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the
disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"

"My car broke down, Officer" says the woman, calmly.

"Well, what are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here
by the road?!" asks the Officer...

"Oh, those are my emergency flashers!" she replied.

Man goes to the Doctor and says, Doc, my p*n*s is turning Orange
Doctor asks, what do you do everyday ?
Man replies, oh nothing, just eat cheetos and watch porn.

Katie was staying with her grandfather for a few days.

She had been playing outside with the other kids for a while when she came into the house and asked him, "Grandpa, what is that called when two people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"

He was a little taken aback, but decided to tell her the truth.
"It's called sexual intercourse, dear."

Little Katie just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play
with the other kids. A few minutes later she came back in and said angrily, "Grandpa, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds!" " and Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you"!!