When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said,
"Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a
sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep
every night with a hot 25-year-old blond."

"Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50-year-old woman. "

It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman.

She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old blond, and she would
make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment,
driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10 inch black
and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life
crises.