Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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Experimental Surgery

Experimental Surgery... Bill can't get an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery. Bill asks what the surgery is and the doctor tells him They take the muscles from the base of a baby elephant's trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best.

Bill says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier, so he says ok.

The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later he gives Bill the go ahead to "try out his new equipment".

Bill takes his wife out to dinner. While at dinner Bill starts feeling incredible pressure in his pants. It gets unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants.

No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs an apple from the fruit basket, and disappears back into his pants.

His wife sits in shock for a few moments, and then gets a sly look on her face. She says, "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?"

With his eyes watering and a painful look on his face, Bill says, "Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another apple up my ass."

Now that's one I never heard before. Hehehehe

Apparently in order to be politically correct, Santa’s laughter has to be changed from "ho" to "hi".
It would sound something like this; from “ho ho ho ho”, to, “ 'I, 'I, 'I, 'Imus behave.