An Irish farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking out of a pond.

The Irish farmer shouted: "Paid a yfed a dwr, maer gwerthin wedi cachu un a for."

Which in Gaelic means: "Don't drink the water the cows have sh*t in it."

The man shouts back: "I'm a muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English."

The Irish farmer says: "Use two hands, it holds more"!!!