Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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A bald man with a wooden leg is invited to a Halloween party.
He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he
writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
A few days later, he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief
will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just
right as a pirate.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.


The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his
wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he
receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's habit.
The long robe will cover your wooden
leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.


Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his
wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company
another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel and
a note, which reads:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts.
Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your
wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.


Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co

A five-year-old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch
together, when grandpa pulled a beer out of the cooler.
The little boy asked, 'Grandpa, can I have a beer?
Grandpa replied 'Can your p*cker touch you're ass?
The little boy answered, 'No Grandpa, It's just a little p*cker!'
Grandpa said, Then you're not man enough to have a beer.
After a while, Grandpa lit up a cigar.
The little boy asked, 'Grandpa, can I have a cigar?'
Once again, Grandpa asked, 'Can your p*cker touch you're ass?'
The little boy answered 'no,' again.
Grandpa said, 'Then your not man enough to have a cigar.'
A little later, the boy came out of the house with some cookies and milk.
Grandpa asked, 'Can I have a cookie?'
The boy asked, 'Can your p*cker touch you're ass?'
Grandpa replied, Hell yeah, my p*cker can touch my ass!'
The boy replied, Then go f*ck yourself! Grandma made these for me.'