Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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Four married guys go fishing. After about an hour, the following conversation took place:

First guy: 'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend.'

Second guy: 'That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I would build her a new deck for the pool.'

Third guy: 'Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I would remodel the kitchen for her.'

They continue to fish. When they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word, they asked him. 'You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?'

Fourth guy: 'I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a slap on her butt and said:

'Fishing or Sex?' and she said: 'Wear sun-block.'

Too hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting....

I think I am good on the phone and I do no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I offen get a job thru my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we can discus wat jou want to pay me and what you think that I am werth,

I can start emeditely.

Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,
BRYAN nickname Beefy

PS: Because my resimay is a bit short - below is pickture of me



Employer's response:....

Dear Beefy - I mean Bryan ,

It's OK honey, we got

SPELL CHECK!!!

See you Monday.

A rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked on the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door. 'Is yer Dad home?' the rancher asked.
'No sir, he ain't,' the boy replied. 'He went into town.'
'Well,' said the rancher, 'Is yer Mom here?'
'No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad.'
'How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?'
'He went with Mom and Dad.'

The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

'Is there anything I can do fer ya?' the boy asked politely.
'I know where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad.'
'Well,' said the rancher uncomfortably, 'I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae,
pregnant.'


The boy considered for a moment.
'You would have to talk to Pa about that', he finally conceded.
'If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard.