Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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Government job

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.


The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'

He replies, 'Yes - caffeine.'


'Have you ever been in the military service?'

Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'



The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.' Then he asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?'



The guy says, 'Yes...an IED exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles.'

The interviewer grimaces and then says, 'O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10:00 A.M. every day.'



The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why don't you want me to here until 10:00 A.M.?



This is a government job,' the interviewer says. 'For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that

Photo on the night stand

After a long night of making love,
the guy notices a photo of another man,
on the woman's nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.
'Is this your husband?'
he nervously asks..

'No, silly,'
she replies, snuggling up to him.

'Your boyfriend, then?'
He continues.
'No, not at all,'
she says, nibbling away at his ear.

'Is it your dad or your brother?'
he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!'
she answers.

'Well, who in the hell is he, then?'
he demands.

She whispers in his ear
'That's me before the surgery.'

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.
'That's a serious step,' he said. 'Have you thought it out completely?'
'Yes,' his young son answered. 'We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.'

'How about transportation?' the father asked.

'I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,' the little boy answered.
The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, 'What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know.'

'We've thought about that, too,' the little boy replied.
'We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!'

In honor of the mother of the octuplets, Denny's is offering a new breakfast meal called the “Suleman”…



You get fourteen eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you has to pay the bill.