I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA

Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell
his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my
birthday." Little Johnny was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten
into trouble at school and at home.

Johnny's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for
his birthday. Little Johnny, of course, thought he did. Johnny's mother,
being a Christian woman, wanted Johnny to reflect on his behavior over
the last year. "Go to your room, Johnny, and think about how you have
behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you
deserve a bike for your birthday."

Little Johnny stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write
God a letter.

Letter 1

Dear God:

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my
birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Johnny

Johnny knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this
year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2

Dear God:

This is your friend, Johnny. I have been a pretty good boy this year
and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you. Your friend,
Johnny

Johnny knew that this wasn't true, either. So, he tore up the letter
and started again.

Letter 3

Dear God:

I have been an "OK" boy this year. I still would really like a red bike
for my birthday. Thank you, Johnny

Johnny knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Johnny
wrote another letter.

Letter 4

God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I
will be a good boy if you just send me a red bike for my birthday.
Please! Thank you, Johnny

Johnny knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him
a bike. By now, Johnny was very upset. He went downstairs and told his
Mom that he wanted to go to church.

Johnny's mother thought her plan had worked as Johnny looked very sad.
"Just be home in time for dinner," Johnny's mother told him.

Johnny walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little
Johnny went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see
if anyone was there. Johnny bent down and picked up a statue of the
Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church,
down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to
his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.

Johnny began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5

God, I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.
Signed, YOU KNOW WHO