Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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Resto - I often show my wife these little ditties - this one - not a chance

Wise move.

A teacher in a Detroit, Michigan Kindergarten class asked her students if they could tell the class what sound a pig makes...

Little Tyrone stood up and said:

" Up against the wall, mother f**ker!"

I'm guessing there are not too many farms in Detroit ?!!!

A man owned a small farm in Southern Saskatchewan .

The Saskatchewan Wage & Hours Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them", demanded the Agent.

"Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $400.00 a week plus free room and board.

The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $300.00 per week plus free room and board.

There's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.

He makes about $10.00 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bourbon every Saturday night.

He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to.....the half-wit", says the Agent.

"That would be me", replied the farmer.

A man is getting into the shower, just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. < br>
When she opens the door, there stands David, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, David says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of David.. After a few seconds, David hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ' Who was that?'

'It was David, the next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Today a guy at work was telling me about a lady that had the largest baby ever born... It weighed in at 36 lbs.

Im sure it was not a natural child birth and of course the baby had a few problems. In fact it's testicles weighed 8 lbs each.

They ended up putting it in an insane asylum because it was half nuts.