Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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Originally Posted by fitzwilly

This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States and Canada that if military action against Iraq and Afghanistan continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's and Canada 's supply of convenience store managers.

And if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Visa, Bell and Rogers customer service reps.

It's getting ugly folks.

Will they include us in the southern hemisphere,too??will they?huh?huh?huh??

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out..
'April', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'


She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!! !

An elderly senior couple were invited to an old friends home for dinner one evening.

She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband
with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.

The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her host to say,
'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years , you still call your husband all those loving pet names'.

The elderly lady hung her head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' she said, 'his name slipped my mind
about 10 years ago, and I'm scared to death to ask the cranky old bastard what his name is.'

(source: stolen from Bad Rat)

Shark teaching son.

A father shark teaches his kid how to hunt people:

"When you see a human, approach him from about 30',
make sure he sees you, then swim a couple of circles around him.
Then get closer to about 10', and again, swim a few circles around him.
Then you come really close to him, even touch him,
wait one minute and then, eat him."

"But why can't I just go in for the kill and eat him?" asks the little shark.

"You can do that if you don't mind it tasting a little like s**t."