I have just been charged with murder,for killing a man with sandpaper...
To be honest,I only intended to rough him up a bit...
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After years of research,scientists have discovered what makes women happy... Nothing..

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Since the snow came,all the wife wants to do is look through the window..If it gets any worse,Ill have to let her in..
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Just had a water bill for $175..Thats a lot...Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just $2 a month...time to change my supplier..
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A boy comes home from school and tells his father he has a part in a school play,and he will be playing the part of a man who has been married for 25 years..His father replies,Never mind son,maybe next year you will get a speaking part..