*** Adult Truths ***

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. (You never met my MIL - she'll never know, never did, but at 97, excusable)

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. (I'm never wrong - just ask my wife!!!)

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. (Agreed)

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (Those Chinese can do it)

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? (Yes)

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. (Some of my neighbors........)

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. (Just to make sure I don't have the symptoms)

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. (Age 19, maybe)

10. Bad decisions make good stories. (Have lots of them)

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (It was usually Friday about 8:02)

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. (What's Blu-Ray?? Something like VHS?)

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. (Yep)

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. (TG for caller ID)

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. (Don't they?)

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. (Not that water, REAL beer)

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. (Also the GPS)

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. (they're the same - if you are still bored after a snack, have another. You waistline wont tell)

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? (twice)

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! (one of my favorite driving diversions)

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. (YEP)

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. (actually it's less then .11 second)

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

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