Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

Tweet

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife with a big smile and hugs her. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

In the sprite of the holiday Obama decided to show he can still work with congress on which turkey to pardon.................they in turn decided to set up a committee..........without a solution if you drive pass the White House and see a frozen butterball on the front lawn on a stick.......well somethings never change.Yepper give thanks.LOL

MY TRAVELS

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt . That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not!

I have been in Deepsh!^ many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there.

OOOOPS! I think I'm there again..........

Originally Posted by IC2

MY TRAVELS

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

...
I have been in Deepsh!^ many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there.

OOOOPS! I think I'm there again..........

I was in Dispensable once, but got thrown out when I was no longer needed.

A refuse collector in Western Australia is driving along a street
picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his compactor.

He goes to one house where the bin hadn't been left out, and in the
spirit of kindness, and after having a quick look about for the bin,
he decides to knock on the front door.

There's no answer.

Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again, much harder.

Eventually a Chinese man comes to the door.

"Harro prease" says the Chinese man.

"Gidday, mate! Where's ya bin?" asks the collector.

"I bin on toiret," explains the Chinese bloke, a bit perplexed.

Realising the fellow had misunderstood him, the bin bloke smiles and
tries again.
"No! No! mate, where's ya dust bin?"

I dust been to the toiret, I toll you!" says the Chinese man, still perplexed.

"Listen, says the collector, you're misunderstanding me. Where's your
wheelie bin?"

"OK, OK" replies the Chinese man, with a sheepish grin and whispers in
the collector's ear.
"I wheelie bin having sex wiffa wife's sista!"

Originally Posted by RestoRod

A refuse collector in Western Australia is driving along a street
picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his compactor.

He goes to one house where the bin hadn't been left out, and in the
spirit of kindness, and after having a quick look about for the bin,
he decides to knock on the front door.

There's no answer.

Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again, much harder.

Eventually a Chinese man comes to the door.

"Harro prease" says the Chinese man.

"Gidday, mate! Where's ya bin?" asks the collector.

"I bin on toiret," explains the Chinese bloke, a bit perplexed.

Realising the fellow had misunderstood him, the bin bloke smiles and
tries again.
"No! No! mate, where's ya dust bin?"

I dust been to the toiret, I toll you!" says the Chinese man, still perplexed.

"Listen, says the collector, you're misunderstanding me. Where's your
wheelie bin?"

"OK, OK" replies the Chinese man, with a sheepish grin and whispers in
the collector's ear.
"I wheelie bin having sex wiffa wife's sista!"

Tanjooberrymutts....

Originally Posted by lamin8r

Tanjooberrymutts....

Yur wecum!