Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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NEVER CHEAT ON A COUNTRY WOMAN!



A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the barn.



She put his manhood in a vice and then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up an old carpenter's saw.

The banged up cheater was terrified, and hollered, "Stop ! Stop ! You're not gonna cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's hand and said . . . . . .

"Nope....You are! I'm gonna burn down the Barn!!!"

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.
Parliament said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night
watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Parliament said, "How does
the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning
department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one
person to do time studies. Then Parliament said, "How will we know the night
watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"
So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One was to do
the studies and one was to write the reports. Then Parliament said, "How are these
people going to get paid?" So they created two positions: a time keeper and a
payroll officer then hired two people. Then Parliament said, "Who will be
accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section
and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.
Then Parliament said, "We have had this scrap yard in operation for one year and we
are $918,000 over budget, we must cut back." So they laid-off the night watchman.

.

Marriage Counseling

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went in for counseling.

When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.

On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved, and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as the husband watched ... with a raised eyebrow.

The woman shut up, and quietly sat down as

though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband replied, " Well ... I can drop her off here on Mondays, and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

..

Seems perfectly logical to me!!!! An Arab enters a taxi..........Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religionand, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is music of the infidel's and certainly no radio ........ So the cab driver politely switches off the radio, stops the cab and opens the back door. The Arab asks him: “Watt are you doing?” The cabby answers: “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis. So get out and wait for a camel.”