Gander Tower : "Syrian Air 511 -- You are cleared to land on runway 9R."
Syrian Air : "Thank you Gander . Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R
- Allah be Praised."

Gander Tower : " Iran Air 711 - You are cleared to land on runway 27L."
Iran Air : "Thank you Gander . We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 27L. - Allah is Great."

Pause....

Syrian Air : " GANDER TOWER - GANDER TOWER !"

Gander Tower : "Go ahead Syrian Air 511.."

Syrian Air : "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR
THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE
ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE . . . . . INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE!

Gander Tower : "Well bless your hearts, and praise Jesus.
Proceed to your destination and tell Allah we said "Hi".