Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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Dead Penguins - I never knew this!


Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Where do they go?

Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of it's family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around what can only be called the fresh grave and in their complex penguin form of communication seem to actually sing:


"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."


You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?

It's so easy to fool OLD people.

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical
All of his tests come back with normal results.

The doctor says, "George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"

George replies, "God and I are tight.
He knows I have poor eyesight, so He's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I'm done, poof! The light goes off."

"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife. "Ethel," he says, "George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof, the light goes off?"

"Oh sweet Jesus", exclaims Ethel.





"He's peeing in the refrigerator again!

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