Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

Tweet

A guy is walking along a Florida beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.

The guy thinks for a moment and says, "I want to live forever."

"Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."

"OK, then, I want to die after the Democrats balance the budget and eliminate the debt.

"You crafty little bastard," said the genie

I refuse to purchase a Webster's Dictionary because, as soon as I do, they will release the "Movie" !

FACT: 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

That's pretty sneaky, Mr. Duck.

A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating."

The teacher says, "No, I said, 'fascinate.'"

Another little girl says, "There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life."

The teacher again says, "No, the word is fascinate."

Little Johnny yells from the back of the room, "My mom has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the 10 buttons on her shirt."

Another Lil' Johnny Joke . . .


Little Johnny asks his father for a $200 bicycle for his birthday.

Johnny's father says, "We have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and I just got laid off! There won't be a $200 bike this year."

Two days later, Little Johnny walks out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father asks him why he's leaving.

Johnny says, "Early this morning, I was walking past your room, and I heard you tell Mommy that you were pulling out, and Mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, and I'll be damned if I'll get stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!"

As we slowly move through retirement, we need to keep ourselves occupied with small projects.........Like this guy.





I know, I saw it right away too.... No safety glasses or hearing protection.

And I caught something else that is really important: he has no gloves on.

I might be up in age but I am still sharp as a tack.