Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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Subject: Pilot in Distress


THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO SAY !!!!!!



This is the story of the blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies.

She, frantically calls out a May Day. "May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and he's dead and I don't know how to fly. Help me! PLEASE HELP ME!”

She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control, retired Marine fighter pilot, and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you safely back on the ground. I have a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine!”

“Now give me your height and position.”

She says, "I'm 5'4" and I support Obama.”

"O.K." says the voice on the radio...."Repeat after me: Our Father, who art in heaven.”

.

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.

They only have $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her one word: comfortable."

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull."