All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

Jesus loves you! It's everybody else that thinks you're a twat.

Jesus is coming! Look Busy.

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

Get a new car for your partner - it should be a good trade!