Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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It's Deer Season in Kansas. An 8 pointer, 4 pointer and a button buck are standing by a field browsing on acorns.

The 8 pointer says, 'I'm happy with my 10 does, we're really getting along.'

The 4 pointer says, 'I'm happy as heck with my 5, they really take care of me!'

The Button buck says, 'My two are all right, better than nothing I guess.'

Then all of a sudden a GIANT 14 pointer walks out into the field. The three bucks had never seen anything like him before, they were in awe. The big buck made a huge scrape and pissed in it, rubbed a tree the size of a telephone pole and snapped it off at the ground!

The three bucks looked on in amazement.

The 8 pointer says, 'I could probably get by with 4 does........... Who really needs 10 anyway?'

The 4 pointer says, 'You know.............. come to think of it, I only really use one or two of mine!'

The button buck was silent, as the other two bucks look over to him in confusion. Suddenly the Button buck runs out into the middle of the field!

He rips and tears up some grass........ pisses all over the place, snorts & wheezes, rubs his head raw on a tree, and chews a lickin branch clean off! Then he runs back over to his buddies.

His friends immediately ask him, 'What the heck are you doing!?'

I'm just makin' sure that big son of a gun knows I'm a buck!'

Beware of a new Amazon scam!
My husband ordered some expensive jewellery, but motorcycle parts came instead,
Thankfully they fit his bike...
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A new retirement home opened up in the community with separate floors for men and for women.
After the first few weeks of being open all the residents were called into the recreation room so staff could explain the rules.
It was emphasized that after hours there would be no men on the women’s floor or women on the men’s floor and anyone caught violating the rule would be fined $25 for the first offense, $50 for the second offense, and $100 for the third offense.
A hand went up in the back of the room followed by the question:

“How much for a season pass?”
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On a road trip, an elderly couple decided to stop at a roadside diner for a bite to eat. After finishing their meal, they hopped back in the car and continued their journey.
It wasn’t until forty minutes later that the wife realized she’d left her glasses on the table. By this point, they were far from the diner, and it took them quite a while to find a spot to turn around.
As they headed back, her husband slipped into full-on "grumpy old man" mode, complaining and scolding her every mile of the way. He just wouldn’t let up. With each word, his frustration grew, and so did her eagerness to get her glasses and get back on the road.
Finally, they arrived.
As she got out of the car and hurried back into the restaurant, her husband called after her, "While you're in there, grab my hat and the credit card too!"
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The deer joke reminded of the Bull joke.
An old bull and a young bull were standing on a hillside looking down on a herd of cows.
The young bull was jumping around all excited and told the old bull, "Lets go RUN down there and SCREW ALL THEM COWS."
The old bull told him. "Calm down boy, I 've gotta better idea, why don't we just WALK down there and SCREW THEM ONE AT A TIME.

Yesterday I ate a kids KFC meal.

Her mother was furious.
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