A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his drinking buddies late one night. When they staggered into the bedroom,
they saw a big brass gong next to the bed.

"What's a big brass gong doing in your bedroom?" one of the guests
asked.

"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup," replied the drunk.

"How's it work?" the bleary-eyed friend asked, squinting at it.

"Watch," the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave it an
ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You asshole it's three o'clock in the morning!