Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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Bored?? Try these!!



WARNING!!! Some of these acts may result in people chasing you, their use of profane language, and/or hurling large heavy objects through the air at you are possible outcomes as well. Your best defense is to wear your running shoes and always have an escape route planned.



1) Buy large quantities of orange traffic cones and re-route entire streets. (This can be extremely effective if you are having a yard sale.)

2) Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think!”

3) Signal a conversation is over by quickly clamping your hands over ears and repeatedly saying “Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah”

4) Park your car on the side if a busy road, put on your sunglasses and point a hair dryer at passing cars just to see if they slow down. (works even better if you rent a policeman Halloween costume)

5) Go to the local mall, approach complete strangers and ask “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now”. If the person answers you, execute the procedure in #3.

6) Go to the local electronics store. Adjust the tint on all of their T.V.’s so that all of the people are green. When an employee asks what you’re doing, insist that you “like it that way”

7) Ask people what gender they are. When they reply, ask “Are you sure?” (This is NOT recommended in biker bars or redneck hangouts!!!!)

8) Sing along at the opera.

9) Have co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

10) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the exit screaming “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

11) When you draw money out at the ATM, jump up and down screaming “I won!, I won!”

12) Every time someone asks you to do something, look at them and ask “Would you like fries with that?

13) In the memo field of all your checks write “for sexual favors”

14) Put decaf in the office coffee maker for 3 straight weeks, once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, suddenly switch to Espresso.

15) Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

16) When in a public restroom, cheer and clap loudly every time someone breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

17) Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out (This one is great to teach nieces and nephews)

18) When someone says “Have a Nice Day” casually stroll away saying “Nope, I have other plans”

19) Send your toddler to preschool with all of their clothes on backwards, like nothing is wrong. (get creative with this one).

20) Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.” (Make sure you are out of your wife’s striking range when you do this, otherwise the outcome will likely be quite unpleasant).