Thread: A Guy's Trip To Wal-Mart

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You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit; shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20s: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30s: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40s: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50s: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and it says, "I Got Worms".

In your 60s: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70s: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready too. Don't' even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80s: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember that you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. The old lady that greeted you at the front door went to school with you.

I like it!

Yes Indeedy. "In your 60's" sounds very familiar.

Oops, except forgot my glasses. I'd have to change that to "forgot to clean my glasses" . I couldn't find my way to Wal-Mart without them.

I'm still in my 50's??? In my dreams - but that is where I am in that little ditty

Some day - when I grow up.......

I also like it. But my only question is why at 60 you would want to clean off the dog crap from your shoes.

My experience is that the dog crap actually helps make the lines shorter and quicker so you can get out faster.

funny thing went to walmart to buy some carb spray and got carded the other day, wasnt mad just thought it was kinda odd .............

I'm so old, when I buy the aerosol stuff, they just click it in.

Originally Posted by 48fordnut

I'm so old, when I buy the aerosol stuff, they just click it in.

Holey Toledo!

I'm only 52 and by reading this I'm really '70 plus!

You mean that the lady at the register really doesn't think I'm sub-50?

Oh the inhumanity of age!

Originally Posted by Hot Rod Surfer

Holey Toledo!

I'm only 52 and by reading this I'm really '70 plus!

You mean that the lady at the register really doesn't think I'm sub-50?

Oh the inhumanity of age!

I hear you Im 27 but according to this im on my 60s.....lol

Mopar, I'm with you on that . haha

Now where is that dog when you need him???

Whats really funny here in Iowa, and maybe its only here, but if you go into Wal-Mart and ask for a pack of cigarettes, you have to let them pass your liscense through their little scanner or you can't can't get them. Hey, I am over sixty and they ask my for my id. Ain't that really weird.

My I.D says 25 but according to this I'm already 80

i think im int he 80's to. HEY what was that noise, nothing dear!

Hmmmm. I ain't never going to Wal-Mart again!!!! Had no idea my age was that obvious!!!!! But there is this little hottie at Sam's Club and they have great prices on Microfiber towels and Goodyear tires.......