Thread: Domestic problem , need help.

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I have a little problem, I dont know if I should stick my nose into my brothers problems. My brother makes good money and has money in the bank. Problem is that the wife takes care of the bills. Well the new home he had built and the pick up that he owes about 2000 dollars are up for forclosure. She has been spending the money for the bills with no way of putting it back, couple thousand she cannot account for. He knows nothing of this and the wife is still trying to get it paid off in a couple days and keep him in the dark. He credit is all ready screwed because of this. Should I get invloved, its very likely it could end up in divorce? Either way it ends up it wont be good.

How did he NOT know about this, and how DID you know about it? Absolutely, you have to sit him down right now and bring him up to speed......he is your Brother, it isn't like you are just friends.

I'm really confused how he would not know about all of this, and if he has money in the bank, why isn't she writing checks? There has to be more to this story. She's using it for drugs or something else.

Don

Well the wife has been lieing to him and I found out because she asked my wife to do some accounting for her (to find some money) and my wife having her info and up to speed on that stuff my wife told her what she all ready knew, she was in debt. My wife told her to be expecting a notice of foreclosure and sure enough it arrived this past Fri. I told my wife to let her deal with it and see what she does with it. They have about 2 weeks before they lock up their house. Also they have separate bank accounts he gives her the money for the bills. I am still leaning with just being the bad guy and telling him since she will not tell him the whole story, just enough to get by. Its the house, truck and the credit.

Save your brother! I lived with a girl for two years and became really close to her dad. She almost always got the mail because i worked evenings. One day I was off and her dad was at the house helping me with a car when i decided to get the mail. There was a credit card bill addressed to him. He had no idea where it came from as he didn't have a credit card from that company. To make a long story short, his daughter had forged his name and ran up about $20,000 in charges! She gave them my address as his and it was about to go to collections for non payment. When he asked her what she spent the money on (all cash advances) all she would say was,"I dont remember." She complained that she was broke all the time so who knows what she did with it. I had her out of my house within a week, and he and I are still good friends. She left town and he hasn't heard from her in two years.

Look at it this way, if your brother finds out you knew,and didnt tell him....
You know the rest

Originally Posted by redrodman48

Look at it this way, if your brother finds out you knew,and didnt tell him....
You know the rest

Absolutely. Put the shoe on the other foot........wouldn't you expect your Brother to watch your back? You have to tell him everything. Blood is thicker than water and all that jazz.

Don

stand back and let him loose his house ????? i dont think so.

Originally Posted by shine

stand back and let him loose his house ????? i dont think so.

I know but its not that easy. So I tell him and he kicks her to the curb and the 13 year old daughter and 6 year old son are gone too. Thats the only thing thats keeping me from getting involved.

Originally Posted by BigTruckDriver

I know but its not that easy. So I tell him and he kicks her to the curb and the teen age daughter and 6 year old son are gone too. Thats the only thing thats keeping me from getting involved.

Rough stuff that's for sure. But, if you don't tell him, when (not if, but when) he finds out, it'll be because suddenly their all out on the street with no place to live. She may very well take the kids and split anyway, and now he has nothing, compounded by the fact that someone who should be looking out for him, turned a blind eye on the whole thing. That won't be pleasant for either of you, I promise. At least if you put him in the loop, he'll at least feel like he can trust you. That's better than nothing.

Just my $0.02

Good Luck no matter what you decide,
Dutch

Let's say the tables were turned-would you want your brother to tell you?

contact Hud and get rid of her. Or get a good lawyer. They can stop the foreclosure and tell him any other options he has. Good luck.

Tell him NOW.

dude , you in a spot man , i had almost the very same thing happen to me many years ago with my first wife only i was the one in the dark my brother knew about all the stuff that was going on aand didnt tell me cause he was in the same boat as you are this moment , almost to the day that the stuff was gonna hit the fan he finally told me what was going on and dont think i need to tell you how brothers settle things as you more than likely already know ,, long crappy story short the wife split anyway (and good riddence) but i didnt talk to my brother for about 5 years that i will never get back ..

hes your brother , tell him ...

Anybody have a wild guess what's she done with the cash she's taken? She's setting herself up to have a place and get on with her life so when she drops the bomb, she's set and he's out in the cold. Get involved and save his butt. Best thing you can do for yourself and him. Your fears are partially unfounded about what part you play in this and you'll be much happier and he will be too. Short and long end of the situation.

If she files first, she will freeze all assets. Mine took $22k just before she did this. You will never see this again ................

A heart to heart is in order immediately with recon and counter measures at the ready.

Good luck, kitz