Thread: A.a.a.d.d.

Tweet

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put my glasses back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, ; fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for
it, but first I'll check my e-mail....

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

thats what it is called

And here I thought it was the Alcohol

Tell me about it! These young guys have NO IDEA what fun and games are in store for them a few years down the road, do they?


Don

You're crazy, I don't remember doing any of that stuff!

Course, basically, I don't remember anything....................

I never have a day like that, well I think I never had a day like that...What was the question. Sorry the phone rang. where was I Hold on somebody's at the door.
BradC

And all along they've been telling me I have C.R.S. Now I know differently. Now if I can only remember who told me that. Oh will, maybe it will come back to me with age.

Heck Viking, is that what it's called. I do that daily. I've even driven down the road and forgot to put the mail in my mailbox. left truck running and walked back and mail was already in so I decided to pay another bill since I was mailing some letters out anyways and left my truck running for about 1 hr. until my brain cells kicked in and told me "hey you left your truck running" and it wasn't even stolen

That's pretty realistic.
This should fit right in;

Senior questions

Q: Where can men or women over the age of 60 find young, sexy
members of the opposite sex who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore -- under fiction

Q: My wife is going through menopause. What can I do?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the
basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a
mirror?
A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.

Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term
memory storage ?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: Where do 60+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?
A: Their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they
enter antique stores?
A: 'I remember these.'

Q: What is the most frequent thought when going from one room to
another?
A: 'What did I come here for?'

One day I borrowed my then-wifes car to go to the store. I came out and got in and as I am sitting there I thought to myself "huh! Since when is her car a stickshift??" Then I noticed some strange stuff sitting on the passenger seat. OMG!!! I'm in the wrong car! Luckily I was able to get out of there and into her car before the owner came back.


And that was one of my GOOD days !

After we know each other better I'll tell you the story about the time I walked into the ladies room by mistake at a restaurant and wondered where the urinals all went. The lady coming out of the stall was NOT amused.

Don

Well, as long as are reminiscing a bit, here's one for you.....

(Under age 40? You may not understand.)

You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
"Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet."

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice-pack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE .. and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

Flunking gym was not an option . even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.

Oh yeah ... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we got butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?

We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?

LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T; SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING.

LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T; SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING.[/QUOTE]


Amen to that Brother.

Don

HUH, now where was I ??????........joe

Roofcam wrote:

Oh yeah ... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

Now there's something I could have used as a kid. When I was about 15, one evening I stepped into a yellow jacket hole. Within seconds I was stung about 300 times over both legs. Was rushed 12 miles to the nearest hospital where the doctor told my parents that if I had gotten there any later I would not have made it. Don't remember too much about the episode, other than my body swelled about twice it's normal size and I was semi conscious during the entire trip. End result was 4 years of getting twice weekly de-sensitizing shots. Still allergic to stinging insects, just not fatally.

I try to avoid the little buggers as much as possible, and yes, I will brake for a bee in the car.

In the spirit of this thread, here's a cute one:


http://www.newsday.com:80/news/opini...,1036393.blurb