Thread: Spanking vs Tough love

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Tough Love vs. Spanking - Good Argument

Most of the American populace thinks it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.'

One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk.
Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc.

Either way, the kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. Eye to eye contact helps a lot too.


I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.

Sincerely,
Your Friend

LOL .



Bill S.

Hopefully, he's not too bad of a kid or you will go thru a lot of wiper blades.............

Mike

Kind of turns around the old line, "Do you want me to stop this car right now?? that my kids keep reminding me of from years past.....

I fashioned an 18" "Board of Education" from a 3/4" x 4" plank of pine when the kids were growing up. I used to give them an option, application of the attitude changer or time out in their room. One application of the board convinced them that time out was the smarter option.

I have four grown and have to agree that the "board of education applied to the seat of knowledge" was sometimes used at our household. Never abuse (at least by my definition) but sometimes the moist effective way to change harmful behavior.

They are all good, solid tax-paying citizens and having kids of their own.

BTW - If I had known the grandkids were so much fun, I may have skipped the kids altogether!

It would seem that everybody has an opinion on raising kids and punishment. As a former group home parent, I found myself in situations where the smart kids would instigate riots with the less savy ones. I could only use time outs as a punishment. We had one kid, way too smart for his years, who would get other kids into fights and sit back and enjoy the chaos. One night I decided to give myself a time out when he said what are you going to do. He clearly stated I had no power to stop him from doing whatever he wanted. I pointed out to the kids that he was getting into trouble, that I would be taking a time out and would not be able to protect Robert from them for the next minute. They all pounced on him. When I asked them to stop, they did.
I then pointed out to Robert that not only was I there to keep peace but to protect them all. We never had a problem again!

Dang Pro70z28 I would of thought you would have gotten the
kid a hands free phone. LOL Kurt

Tried that. But my boy is as big as me now. I remember when leather was a good feeling in my hand and his butt...........

i like that one!

LOL's. The 'Human Rights Activists' are going to be watching you now! LOL's.

I guess with me....and watching others....I'm not going to be a judge of discipline. I've seen kids that shouldve got a good wailing early in life to keep them in line......and kids that did get the wailing and still ending up being a menace to society. You just never know. There's no guarantee.

I believe in corporal punishment. My son's dont fear me....yet they both respect me, as do I respect my father. My thing is....I dont punish in anger. I wait until I can collect myself.....and later confront them. I cant remember the last time I had to use it on my boy's.

But some kiddo's.....holy cow......my two year old step daughter is teaching me all about the term 'terrible two's'. My wife laughs when I tell her my boys didnt go thru this stage.....but I'm being serious. Grey hairs are starting to grow on my bald head!

Dave G

My mother frequently used an old time razor strap on my back side when we are around home. Out in public she just used the palm of her hand. Both were effective at getting the message across. I do believe that sparing the rod spoils the child and I do not but much weight on the liberals feelings that child punishment should be all mental and not physical. A good warming of one's but from time to time when the infraction deserves it is the right course of action.

My daughter got her little butt warmed twice by me (lost count by my wife). She turned out a good kid, although a little spoiled. The way I see some kids act in public, I sometimes thing the parents are the ones that should get the spanking.

Originally Posted by mopar34

My mother frequently used an old time razor strap on my back side when we are around home. Out in public she just used the palm of her hand. Both were effective at getting the message across. I do believe that sparing the rod spoils the child and I do not but much weight on the liberals feelings that child punishment should be all mental and not physical. A good warming of one's but from time to time when the infraction deserves it is the right course of action.

My daughter got her little butt warmed twice by me (lost count by my wife). She turned out a good kid, although a little spoiled. The way I see some kids act in public, I sometimes thing the parents are the ones that should get the spanking.

I'm with you Mopar! In reality.....physical is mental. Really not much difference. Physical just re-inforces the mental. I've seen people that can do more damage mentally with the words they use. It just depends on whether they degrade a child....or serve as a hint of proper behavior. My mother use to use the metal end of a flyswatter when she was reaaaal madd!!! She feels bad now....but I know she did it out of anger....and probably fear for what I'd become. Believe me.....I deserved it at times!

Dave G

One thing that is harder about not being physical with a punishment is that you have to get very creative to get your point across. Our three boys came out of foster care and due to their past we don't use the board of education on them even though I would love to from time to time. We did however find a loop hole in being physical. Pinches That works pretty good for our situation especially when you tell them " Your going to get pinched and hard too, come here and get it " You almost don't even have to pinch them anymore at that point In public a outburst leading them by the ears works well also. After any punishment we always make sure there is a hug afterwards, gotta make sure that they know that you love them.

That is funny. I see kids I would like to do that to sometimes. Seriously, I have seen both sides and prefer not spanking. I have administered the "learn-ed thump" to many a noggin though. Seldom does it take more than one and it doesn't leave a mark.