Thread: Spanking vs Tough love

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Tough Love vs. Spanking - Good Argument

Most of the American populace thinks it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.'

One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk.
Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc.

Either way, the kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. Eye to eye contact helps a lot too.


I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.

Sincerely,
Your Friend

LOL .



Bill S.

Hopefully, he's not too bad of a kid or you will go thru a lot of wiper blades.............

Mike

Kind of turns around the old line, "Do you want me to stop this car right now?? that my kids keep reminding me of from years past.....

I fashioned an 18" "Board of Education" from a 3/4" x 4" plank of pine when the kids were growing up. I used to give them an option, application of the attitude changer or time out in their room. One application of the board convinced them that time out was the smarter option.

I have four grown and have to agree that the "board of education applied to the seat of knowledge" was sometimes used at our household. Never abuse (at least by my definition) but sometimes the moist effective way to change harmful behavior.

They are all good, solid tax-paying citizens and having kids of their own.

BTW - If I had known the grandkids were so much fun, I may have skipped the kids altogether!

It would seem that everybody has an opinion on raising kids and punishment. As a former group home parent, I found myself in situations where the smart kids would instigate riots with the less savy ones. I could only use time outs as a punishment. We had one kid, way too smart for his years, who would get other kids into fights and sit back and enjoy the chaos. One night I decided to give myself a time out when he said what are you going to do. He clearly stated I had no power to stop him from doing whatever he wanted. I pointed out to the kids that he was getting into trouble, that I would be taking a time out and would not be able to protect Robert from them for the next minute. They all pounced on him. When I asked them to stop, they did.
I then pointed out to Robert that not only was I there to keep peace but to protect them all. We never had a problem again!

Back in about '59 my Dad was teaching Vo-Ag to the farm boys in very rural SW MO (I was about 12). One of the older guys came waltzing in with a new "DA" pompadour, making quite a show of slicking back his new "do", and Dad asked him when he had last had a haircut. "Just got it cut Saturday, man", was the reply, with just enough attitude to cause concern. "Well that's a shame to pay good money for a haircut and not get the job done." To the group of Jr's & Sr's he said, "Boys, there's a good pair of sheep shears in this cabinet if anyone knows how to use them" as he walked out the door. When he came back in a while later the DA was history, he handed the kid $2 and told him he could walk to town and visit the barber if he wanted to get things straightened out. He came back with a flat top...... Shame is, today someone would be in court a few days later.

We had five teenagers at home, at the same time for awhile (13 to 19). Pretty much chaos most of the time. Even if they took turns behaving for a few days at a time, somebody would be screwing up somehow, taking up the slack. On one really bad day I blurted out, "I hope you have kids just like you, cause I'm going to teach them everything you do, plus a few things you haven't thought of!" You know, that sunk in better than anything else I ever said or done. In spite of me, they have grown up, and are having families of their own. And yes, Grand kids are fun, and they learn quick too!!

One time my Girlfriend and I were riding our bikes to the beach, and were following a family on bikes ahead of us............Mom and Dad in front and the two kids behind on their own bikes. The kids were being really bad, and after a while the Mom turned around and said in a very proper voice " ok you two, when we get to the beach you are going to get a TIME OUT!!"

When we got to the beach, there was another Mom and her two kids showering off under the outdoor showers. The Mom was a rather large black woman, and the one boy did something she didn't like, so she reached over and landed a smack on his butt that sent him flying. I turned to my Girlfriend and said, "I guess he just got HIS TIME OUT!!"

Personally, I raised my Sons just like her.........didn't beat them or abuse them, but every once in a while they would get their butts warmed a little.

Don

I'll vote YES for grandkids being fun......

Dang Pro70z28 I would of thought you would have gotten the
kid a hands free phone. LOL Kurt

Tried that. But my boy is as big as me now. I remember when leather was a good feeling in my hand and his butt...........

i like that one!

LOL's. The 'Human Rights Activists' are going to be watching you now! LOL's.

I guess with me....and watching others....I'm not going to be a judge of discipline. I've seen kids that shouldve got a good wailing early in life to keep them in line......and kids that did get the wailing and still ending up being a menace to society. You just never know. There's no guarantee.

I believe in corporal punishment. My son's dont fear me....yet they both respect me, as do I respect my father. My thing is....I dont punish in anger. I wait until I can collect myself.....and later confront them. I cant remember the last time I had to use it on my boy's.

But some kiddo's.....holy cow......my two year old step daughter is teaching me all about the term 'terrible two's'. My wife laughs when I tell her my boys didnt go thru this stage.....but I'm being serious. Grey hairs are starting to grow on my bald head!

Dave G