Thread: How to tell its Fall in Arizona

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How to tell that it's Fall in Arizona

The blue hair senile citizens have arrived. Somehow they managed to drive their Lincoln Town Cars 5 zillion miles from Iowa, Michigan, Wisconsin, or where ever without a major crash. Now they are here on our streets causing all kinds of problems. Here are some of our observations:

1. Left foot braking. These folks must have such poor reaction time that they must drive with their left foot on the brake. Brake lights are always on....the only time that left footed braking should be legal is at the starting line of a drag race.
2. Gotta get home before dark. Since none of the blue hairs can see in the dark, they have to rush home from Denny's or Red Lobster before dark. We have found that if one of them gets caught out after dark, they go into an ultra-slow mode and drive 25mph in a 50mph zone.
3. They have to be at the Post Office at 7:30 am to mail their packages. For some reason, the senile citizens think that if they mail stuff really early, it gets to its destination early. I guess if you get up at 4:30 every day, have zero to do, then 7:30 feels late in the day.
4. Turn your blinker on at least 1 mile before your turn. It appears that all the seniors have a stuck turn signal.....follow them for a couple of miles and they eventually turn.
5. Emergency lane changes. Every day, we see a person in the center lane almost come to a stop in order to change lanes. After they change lanes, they continue to drive in that lane...oops, they turn maybe a mile or two down the road.
6. Left turns from a straight ahead lane. No explanation needed. They do it all the time.
7. Stop at a green light. It was probably red the last time they looked.

I will bet if they are asked, they will all say that they haven't had an accident for years but there sure seems to be a lot of accidents in their rear view mirror (which they seldom use)

Great True Post! Do you think we'll ever be like that?

Darn right we will...it's a God-given right that we can block traffic and make younger folks mad when we get to their age.

I forgot to add one warning sign....they wear the huge plastic sunglasses that fit over their regular glasses.....we call them "blinders".

They also back out of parking spaces without looking back....their theory is that if they go really slow backward, everything will move out of the way for them OR they will only lightly bump the wall or post.

Hey!!! I resemble that remark.

That sounds like Mr and Mrs average small town Kiwi..

Hey Robot,,,, best move outta our way, get your woman and kids off the streets cuz we are coming down soon in a 40 footer pulling a toad!! Oh did I tell ya,,, my wife is clutchin' the rig too!!

Motorhomes are the lesser of our worries....the motorhome folks pretty much keep in their lane and know how to drive. The motorhomes go to Yuma and park there for the winter.... it's the Town Cars, Cads, etc. that are the cork in the traffic flow....you know the ones that wear their belt just under their armpits and wear white shoes/belt. The indian casinos love them...spending their retirement money 5 cents at a time.

COME ON DOWN!!!! (bring money)

when i see one i just think of my mom. no way in hell can i be mad. they paid the cost .

More and more I find myself driving along with my turn signal having been on for the past 5 miles. Suddenly I am one of THEM!! But I'm in such a hurry to get to the Early Bird Specials.


Don

Don, do you have a coupon?

Here, it's 4:00 in the afternoon and the local Hometown Buffet
is packed with blue hairs. Of course, they ate breakfast at 5am
and lunch at 11 so they are probably starving by 4

Ok so you just described me

Bit I live here so it's OK right

It's not all bad, living in a place that only has Summer and Spring weather!



Here are some more ways to tell:

The locals start doing outdoor activities again.

The wealthier retirees come home from the higher altitudes, and northern end of the state.

Our electric bills go down.

We start having daytime car shows and drag races again!!! :-)

At least you don't have snow for them to drive on,That adds to the fun