Thread: What the heck!

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Maybe I'm wrong, but I've noticed a larger amount of hostility lately? Seems people come on and post questions that they really don't want answers to, then get upset.
I visit a few other forums and have seen the same poster's posting the same questions, getting the same or very similar answers, yet not getting upset there? So, what are we doing wrong?

welcome to my world. i see the same guys asking the same questions on 4 or 5 paint sites. they keep looking for someone to give them the answer they want. i've become less interested in helping . i love the whole 100 dollar paint kit thing. because i know better than to use that junk i'm not suppose to have an opinion. i dont have to get bit by a rattler to know better than to pick it up .

Case in point is the guy with the scored cylinder and intake manifold that wouldn't fit.
Intake Manifold Hitting ? - Hot Rod Forum : Hotrodders Bulletin Board

Reading the thread reveals a lot of the questions we asked him early on, and now the problems he is having by continuing without addressing them to start with. But, why are we the bad guys? Are we phrasing it wrong? Or am I just getting to old?

Sometimes it is not what we want to hear, but re-inventing the wheel seldom reveals better results...

Originally Posted by 36 sedan

Maybe I'm wrong, but I've noticed a larger amount of hostility lately? Seems people come on and post questions that they really don't want answers to, then get upset.
I visit a few other forums and have seen the same poster's posting the same questions, getting the same or very similar answers, yet not getting upset there? So, what are we doing wrong?

Hope you don't think I was getting hostile or upset (well maybe upset at myself for not doing enough homework the first time ). Sometimes I'm a little slow at accepting something as not perfect that I thought I was doing right. Anyways I do appreciate the time you folks put in helping others for no reward.

Seems like society is this way, from hiway road rage to clients in the hospital, it seems everyone is in a hurry, and quick to get pissed off when there is no reason. I had a guy come unglued in the hospital for nobody answering his call light in a minute because he wanted new sheets on his wife's bed, while other patients were getting meds for pain. I explained I'd be back as soon as I took care of the patient I was giving medicine to, and he kept arguing for 5 more minutes, but saying I understand, but every time I started heading for the door would stop me with another complaint(this was 5 minutes after spending 15 minutes in their room, getting them everything they wanted and needed, before going on to my next patient).
I think part of the problem is too many were spared the rod as children, and now they have no idea of how bad they are behaving because their parents never taught them dicipline and manners in the first place.

This site is nowhere as PC correct as the one you mentioned. They get their panties in a wad if you post in the wrong forum and quickly point out to you the error of your ways. It's also full of a bunch of snobby snide SOB's that evidently have done everything and know everything. They lost one of the best members they had due to his take no prisoners approach which the management had major problems with and they have more moderators than a kindergarten class. And more whiners that I've seen since I joined the Marine Corps Reserve in 73 and it was full of creeps who had joined to avoid service in Vietnam and they had to stay for their full tour even though Vietnam was over. I could go on, but I'll end this rant and get back to doing something constructive.

The sad thing is Steve that we all now live in a "politically correct world" where taking the rod to ones childs' bottom, whether it is a flat hand, a piece of rolled up newspaper, will have you up on charges of cruelty to a minor. Now the issue is the young people know this and use it against their parents so result is we now have people like you have to deal with ever so politely with as it is your job on the line.
I don't post much here but this site is home to me and I read all the posts daily, I do find it frustrating when some of our more knowledgeable members ask for more detail and then give excellent advice to help some one and they don't appear to want to follow up with more information that could help steer them in the right direction.

You can lead a horse to water.............but you can't make him think..........

Rhetorical;
I was hoping someone would see it and understand why they go to other forums for their answers.
We are what's wrong, we are the reason. Look at any of the current posts to see it.
We have stopped helping and become wrongsayers and lecturers. We have become the father that can not teach without belittling and proving others wrong. We no longer appreciate what others have to say, instead we lecture on how wrong they are. We no longer lead with wisdom, we expect others to follow just because.
We have become old and if we do not change our current path of thinking we will soon become extinct, the same as many generations before us have.
In short, we need to once again lead, not condemn. We need to help solve problems, not tear them apart. We need to stop arguing amongst ourselves. We need to once again remember, it's not what we say, but how we say it. It's time to look in the mirror.
In other words, just be kind, it's so easy.
I'm reluctant to post this, as some may read it the wrong way. Not meant to be disrespectful...

if i have a question on engines i ask. then i listen . i do not argue with those trying to help me. that is the problem. when someone asks how to make 500 hp with a cam swap we should just ignore them i guess.

Sorry, ignoring is as bad as arguing. People ask questions to learn, while often the answer is not what they want to hear and often it has been already covered. We have a group of very intelligent people, with great knowledge, but we've gotten tired of answering the questions, maybe we need a technical section where it can be posted an refered to when needed. But we don't need to be cranky and fighting amongst ourselves...

Originally Posted by 36 sedan

Sorry, ignoring is as bad as arguing. People ask questions to learn, while often the answer is not what they want to hear and often it has been already covered. We have a group of very intelligent people, with great knowledge, but we've gotten tired of answering the questions, maybe we need a technical section where it can be posted an refered to when needed. But we don't need to be cranky and fighting amongst ourselves...

I tried to get Brent to start a technical library years ago, but my request fell on deaf ears. You'll see me frequently leading those who come here to ask questions to the Crankshaft Coalition Wiki on Hotrodders, because I and many others have spent many, many hours writing articles over there.

I think perhaps you are right about being a little short with posters, but when someone asks what color it is and you tell him it's blue because you've done it a thousand times and then he says, well I think it's red, you naturally become a little disgusted and get short with the dude. If these fellows would just come on here and ask how to build a motor, BEFORE THEY EVER BUY ONE PART, life would be simpler for all of us.


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I would tend to agree that things have gotten more argumentative, or, it seems that there are others who think themselves as always "right"-

I joined these sites to be with my own (other car nuts), and, I had a great time making friends (and helping others) for about 10 Years or so (I still see many of them around, but most of them don't Post as much any more either)-it just seems that more and more that sometimes it doesn't matter what is the correct way to do it (or, that there may be more than one way), inevitably someone has to have the last word or opinion-

I truly admire those who continually help others (including many here who Post day after Day), even while being chastised-I am definitely not the smartest, and I certainly don't know it all, but I found great satisfaction in helping someone else who didn't have experience with that particular problem-it was what drove me to enjoy these sites every day-

Now, I lurk-I still learn a lot (for which I am thankful), but it just isn't the same (nor is it as enjoyable)-maybe that is what has put a downward spiral (less participation) on Forums?

Same as all the above.. A body can answer the same question so many times and you get burnt out and then need a breather.

The library is a good idea but, the millenials don't want to read.. they want it in short quick doses and they want you to agree with them.. Even if it is wrong or a bad idea. ( I see it on another tractor forum, they have a great manual section and library and when you even link the exact page to a manual they need.. they just don't look!)

Also, I tell a friend on here all the time, while you can offer the information and / or an opinion, it's up to the reader to decide what to do with that info! I refuse to get all worked up over someone who doesn't want my help. It ain't no skin off my butt!

I also think for all the reasons listed in this whole thread, forums are going the way of the dinosaur, and even with a gun club I once belonged to, it's the few that do all the work and once in awhile a large group of members show up when they need or want something from the club (usually complaining that "we" spent the money on fixing things and not the annual banquet!)

I still think "we" are one of the greatest groups of motor heads on the 'net, we don't usually get our panties in a wad over the trivial bs.. as long as we remember to respect each other, have fun when you can, and don't sweat the small things.. we're all here to be helpful and enjoy our passion for hot rods / cars in general.. I know I've been goofin' off with folks like Johnboy and Mr.Spears, Charlie, Meller and Stovens.. and we have a great time.. I stepped on IC2 on he didn't appreciate it, even when he cooled off.. we hung out one weekend but it wasn't the same, His loss I figure.. he likes a different forum now and that's okay. If he called me up today and wanted to hang out, I'd meet up with him in a minute.

I guess it's like water from the ducks back. Take care of yourself and the family of course, over here - enjoy the time and each other, be helpful when you can.. if you want to flame out? Type it out and re-read it a couple times.. wait a few hours before posting it. Because it won't solve anything anyway! Remember what's really important in life.. and it ain't a motor or a hot rod!

Five likes at least 34_40. True in a lot of areas of life. Best to write it several times, sleep on it an maybe just throw it away. I too appreciate this site - only one I really visit anymore. I disagree from time-to-time, but usually just let things go as there's no eternal consequences from anything I read here. My dad used to say, "The only thing that's the end-of-the-world is the-end-of-the-world. Be prepared for that and we can work everything else out."