How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other
is a little lighter

Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favourite kind of
music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu - you get what you deserve

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? A maybe

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

A cross-eyed teacher couldn't control his pupils

She had a photographic memory but never developed it

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and don't really care

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind

Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.

The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: "That's the last thing I need!"

Need an ark? I Noah guy

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not so sure

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine

What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? A Thesaurus