Thread: Father Son Project..........NOT.....

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thanks don jr. i will. i understand the pressure he is under.

Thanks galz and guyz for the insight into raizing children as Melz and I were both career driven and had made the decision before we married that children weren't apart of our long term plans. Something I occasionally recret as I get older,( I haven't caught up with Uncle Bob yet). I remember wanting to modify my first pushbike,and when I was old enough to purchase my first car,it was me begging Dad to come out in tell me how to do a valve job etc.
In todays world young and old girls, sorry Barb that is not in reference to you can be right into rodding as any guy and over here we have a number of the female enjoying our hobby.

I guess that I have been blessed...sort of!

When my son was 14 and starting to think about cars I noticed neighbors and friends buying newer, shiney cars and trucks for their kids. I'm sure some of them put some sweat equity into them, but...

Anyway, being a gearhead (without much $$$) I came up with a deal for my son. If he would put his money ($600) and his spare time into the effort, we would find whatever kind of rig that my son liked and build it into something no one else has or perhaps has seen. The tail end of the deal was that after he graduated from HS if he went to Vocational School, Community College or College that we would buy him whatever type of rig that he wanted and we would keep the build.

So he found a '48 Chevy 5 window pu up in Friendsville, TN and we bought it and the trailer that it was on and brought it down to central florida. 16 months later he drove it too school. The first day he drove it we were outside watching him back it out of the garage, he'd done it thousands of time before, and watched him crease the front fender on the garage door jamb.

I freaked out, shook my head and went to work.

Now is when my son started to show his true colors. After school he went over to a friends house whose dad had some tools and knew how to use them. He beat out the crease, sanded and polished the garage door paint off of the truck and had the truck home and done by the time I got home.

So you know what he got when he graduated from HS? A pickup with air conditioning!

Later tried a similar deal with my daughter on the same truck which didn't work out so well, but at least she gave it the old college try.

My son is over 25 today and will probably never build a car again, but at least he did it once...And I have pictures!!!! Some with both of us in them!!!

Here is a shot of the '48 after the kids left and I rebuilt it again.

Just wanted everyone to know I read all your words and understand. I know you can't force anything on em, I never tried, at least interests and such. Overall he's a good kid, maybe more responsible than I was at that age. And you never know in a few years he might be pestering me in the garage. My grandson, 2 next month, His son followes me around like a pup. Has to sit in the hot rod every nite. I wonder how much he will remember years from now. I guess it was my daughter, and it got me to thinking, too much, this morning and probably getting a little depressed. He used to come to the races with me, but due to NASCAR reg's couldn't get into the pits. I got him a race cart and he did pretty good. We had a fire in the shop and lost everything, or he might have raced alot longer. I know he has his own life and mistakes to make, and I can't do much. The harder you push, the harder they push. Oh well.
Too tired today, but I'll probably post some direct replies to your stories and comments tomorrow.

I'm down to my last hope......I have 4 daughters, none of them interested in the cars, except to drive and me to maintain......lol

I then had 4 grand daughters, none have shown an interest, although one is only 5 years old, so who knows?...2 years ago, the grandson came along...he seems to love his toy cars and trucks.......good sign.

Originally Posted by poncho62

I'm down to my last hope......I have 4 daughters, none of them interested in the cars, except to drive and me to maintain......lol

I then had 4 grand daughters, none have shown an interest, although one is only 5 years old, so who knows?...2 years ago, the grandson came along...he seems to love his toy cars and trucks.......good sign.

Look around the neighborhood. Maybe there's a kid, who's dad doesn't understand his love of cars. :-)

When I was just out of high school, my dad wired a guys garage for a welder. Dad came home and said this guy was building an old Ford or something. Dad had told him I was crazy about cars... and the guy said I could stop by to see it if I liked.

I spent the next couple years helping him to build his Max Wedge powered B/G Austin. It eventually it got an injected Hemi clutchflite, and would run on the record! :-) Car-maniacs of all ages will find each other!

Good thread - and yep, saw my kids in several of these posts and my stories would be a repeat of others. Two of the 4 like cars, the others - if it wont start, call for help. Right now, all are too busy pursuing careers and raising their own kids much as I had to while they were growing up as money and time were both short plus I traveled a lot.

I am on the son end of this. My dad (parents) never pushed anything on me. Quite the opposite actually. I remember growing up wanting to learn about cars, but never asked. By the time I was born my dad wasn't doing much with cars. The GTO had basically been parked and the '35 made the move from my grandparents summer place in NJ to our house in VA in '91, but only because my uncle was taking over the summer place year round. I remember sitting in the '35 several times and once wiping the whole car down with a paper towel in the garage because it was dirty and I wanted to do something on it.

My only advice (of course take into account I am about half as experienced as most of you ) is to feel out their interest to see if its there and if not, move on to something else you can share and maybe one day they will come around. I can only imagine how many miles the '35 would have if we had started when I wanted to way back when, but it took one of the worse times in my life to create one of the best. In 2004 I totalled my '97 Camaro SS. I had worked hard to pay most in cash and borrowed the rest from my partents. My dad made a joke about putting the engine in the '35 and a couple years later after graduating college we started fumbling through it all.

Thank you all for reminding me these are times I will never forget. Sometimes it's too easy to get mad along the way or not be happy with the progress, but I have to remember that it's all for fun and good memories

I guess the bottom line is that our job as Parents is to simply provide our kids with lots of love, good examples, a respect for others, a sense of self worth, and some life lessons so that they will become productive, law abiding, caring, and loving adults. Anything beyond that is gravy. We have to understand that although they came from us they are totally different and independant people.

Last Sunday I stopped at a restaurant to eat lunch on my way back from a swap meet and they sat me at a booth near a family with two young kids. Sometimes I wish they hadn't done that because as I get older misbehaved kids get to me more and more. However, this family sat there and conversed and interacted as if there were 4 adults there. The Mom and Dad had a pleasant conversation going on with the Son and Daughter, who were very well mannered. At the end of the meal I said "I hope you don't mind me saying it, but you have two very well mannered children." They thanked me and the Dad said "Yeah, but it's a struggle every day." I said "Sure, but it is a lot of fun too."

All I can offer as advice (coming from a Dad with two now grown 40 year olds) is that none of us Parents had any real training for this job, they didn't come with an instruction manual........we just do the best we know how. We also take the lessons our Parents taught us and use the good ones and reject the bad ones to apply to our own kids. There are going to be rough spots along the way, and some tense moments, but it all comes with the territory.

I wouldn't have traded it for all the 32 Fords in the world.




Don

My four kids only have interest in driving their cars and not working on them. They are spread out all over the country, all but one. So I am close to two of my grandchildren. I thought it would be my grandson as I've built the GTO for him. He's only 8 so it's mine till he graduates. Now it's looking like the 5 year old granddaughter has an interest. I'm hoping she still does later on. But that's alright if none of them do. Maybe in time.
I'm also hoping that nobody is blaming the catnip (weed) for the reasons why things are happening to their children. Maybe something else went wrong and they just have to get away from that. It's not the best thing in the world, but it's alot better for them than alcohol is. You can still maintain with it compare to drinking. Take it from someone who has been getting away from something for 40 years. Peace

This is a very interesting thread to me and I want to ask a similar but related question... but it will be at the end...

My son Jeff, did take up the passion and loves working on cars. He is now 26, married and living about 30 miles away. When he graduated high school, he wanted to get into autobody work so I sent him to Dunwoody (a private technical college - pretty expensive tuition) for automotive paint and body restoration. I bought him tools and paid for his education. I only had him pay for his books. After a while in the autobody industry he wanted to get into the mechanical end of things. He worked for a friend for a while learning the trade. We would continue to help out and buy him tools off of his wish list. He now works for a Chrysler dealership, getting certified as one of their mechanics. To say that I'm proud of him is an understatement.

Now to my question: There are times when we encounter something on my or my wifes daily driver that is beyond my talents. I'll ask my son for help. My son does engine and mechanical work on the side and charges for his services. After doing some work on replacing a head gasket on my wifes car he asked for payment. Now I know that I kept him from other "things", but I felt like - "haven't I done enough for you?" I don't ask for help all of the time but I may need some of his expertise once in a while. Heck, he uses my heated garage once in a while to work on other peoples cars (leaving me to clean up my tools, shop, etc... after he leaves).

I want some others perspectives on this: Should I just let it go or say something? Should I charge him a shop time when he charges others to fix their cars. It bugs me that I got asked for money to have him help me fix my wifes car... so chime in here and let me know your thoughts..

Jerome

Originally Posted by MRJB1929

This is a very interesting thread to me and I want to ask a similar but related question... but it will be at the end...

My son Jeff, did take up the passion and loves working on cars. He is now 26, married and living about 30 miles away. When he graduated high school, he wanted to get into autobody work so I sent him to Dunwoody (a private technical college - pretty expensive tuition) for automotive paint and body restoration. I bought him tools and paid for his education. I only had him pay for his books. After a while in the autobody industry he wanted to get into the mechanical end of things. He worked for a friend for a while learning the trade. We would continue to help out and buy him tools off of his wish list. He now works for a Chrysler dealership, getting certified as one of their mechanics. To say that I'm proud of him is an understatement.

Now to my question: There are times when we encounter something on my or my wifes daily driver that is beyond my talents. I'll ask my son for help. My son does engine and mechanical work on the side and charges for his services. After doing some work on replacing a head gasket on my wifes car he asked for payment. Now I know that I kept him from other "things", but I felt like - "haven't I done enough for you?" I don't ask for help all of the time but I may need some of his expertise once in a while. Heck, he uses my heated garage once in a while to work on other peoples cars (leaving me to clean up my tools, shop, etc... after he leaves).

I want some others perspectives on this: Should I just let it go or say something? Should I charge him a shop time when he charges others to fix their cars. It bugs me that I got asked for money to have him help me fix my wifes car... so chime in here and let me know your thoughts..

Jerome

Judge Judy would smack him around. I'm 27 and can't imagine charging my parents for anything. Tell him he just knocked off $xxx from what he owes you for tools and he can find his own heated garage too. It sounds like you have been generous thus far and if you felt some money for his time away from paying jobs would be fair that is one thing, but you clearly feel he is taking advantage of you and your wife.

Jerome - don't even be subtle with him. You need to explain the facts of life and what he got from you while growing up to where he is today. Sometimes kids lose 'perspective' on what mom and dad did for them. While he may get upset for a while, he will probably think about what he did and have an "awakening". If not - well then limit or deny him use of the garage. If he is asking you to pay for parts, then do it - but labor, remind him how many times you took him to sports or other activities and you waited. And waited - I know I did. Tough love - not really, but sometimes they need a life's reminder.

to me its way wrong for a son to charge for helpin his parents.i would not pay a dime.you have done your share of payin all his life. id be mighty upset if i were you.it just aint rite. my dad is gone now.we were close his whole life.worked together too.id give anything to be able to help him again on anything in any way..r.i.p.dad.i miss you old man.

Turn about's fair play, I'd charge him shop time if he's going to charge you for the work and he would clean the tools and the garage before he left or I'd charge him for that also. I have never charged family or friends for any work I've done on their vehicles, other than parts, just doesn't sit right with me.